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© 1996-2015 by the author

click on author's photo to read the blog tags relating to the creative nonfiction breakaway; The Pattern Of Diagnosis.


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2015010522272444188
2015010522272444188 - 2015 to a 1976

This was just written in 2015 as you see more in depth blogs on An Author's Blog. If you are the type who is going "too long and didn't read;" you will not like this one as it runs 2,793 words. If you can't read a short story then what can you read? This generation of mine had seen this decade in a perspective seen by a film maker in two forms -- one from 1983 and from 1988-1989 (I am talking Bladerunner and Back to the Future II.) When you write horror and science fiction this is where the years overlap and now where 2015 becomes a setting for horror in the present. As you wonder about this one and why it's written -- if you had to look over your shoulder in a small town for something written about you on blog you'd understand. Gossip does destroy and you don't realize how much it does unless you spent time in small towns.

2015 To A 1976
Written by Nickolaus Albert Pacione

"But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God's likeness!"

-- James 3: 8-9 (AMP)

Such realizations are not meant to be known; or seen -- but within our mind, our sessions with the shrinks as they become more impersonal for one reason or another. One would not imagine in 1999 that we would see doctors by video camera only -- 2015 this became a ghoulish reality as I see a doctor via Skype. Though it is safe to say I haven’t been in a hospital since 2008 -- but there are things left to question.
      Bullies became more cowardly and brazen at the same time -- they think one can look over one’s shoulder thinking they can be in the village. When I would go into town for something, I have to ask, “Are they the ones who are checking my groceries one day then the next telling me to go off myself behind a keyboard?"
      2015 from the ones born in 1976 as we were the ones who were reading about this in science fiction novellas -- is it as what we imagined so far? No as this is only a few days old. Well up to this point as social network operators take our money and treat us like shit. What did author Hugo Gersback imagine 2015 -- this endless utopia without war?
      What does 2015 look like from a King James Onlyist? When they see a endless slew of white horses as it was the end of the world -- end of the age?
      Let’s get realistic here -- the great falling away they suggest well they are that falling away a realization that science and God were never in conflict is the thing that will leave them beside themselves. Thinking wandering as it was in their head -- when they closed their eyes it’s not the angels and demons having it out but them doing like what was seen in Pleasantville; what is that you ask -- burning of books.
      That the most important movie to emerge in 1998 is to invoke a discussion about black and white or colored -- the allegory there of segregation. But here we are in 2015 -- the writer is discriminated against by those who use a cell phone or a mobile phone because someone does a remark of “tr;dr.” That should be removed from the dictionary because it discourages writers. What is that realization this is not our world -- the writer is seen as a criminal as they see something wrong and raise the alarm then get plagiarized in the process or when they catch someone doing this they end up getting their money taken from them and suspended repeatedly for doing their job.
      2015 -- how does the writer fit into this era? The era the blog had taken over the era of a personal website -- as this became the website in the new era. The era when someone from a small town can feel even more paranoid because something that appeared on a blog -- and the time honored thing known as finger pointing became more evident.
      “Could we think about something else?” I can see someone looking at this and asking this question -- what the madness is too far for them to realize? 2015 -- what does it have in store for us as this is the year Back to the Future II was set. Do we need to really watch where scan our bank card? It comes to that realization as I noticed someone from Korea had used my bank card to pay for something -- that was with one of my bank cards this happened.
      No one hardly uses cash to pay for things too in this era though I do prefer to be paid by PayPal.com. When someone in 2015 thinks it’s still acceptable to plagiarize and call it “parody” Then suggesting something less than work safe with an insult -- as this one has eboa or a sexually transmitted disease or is one. Going around claiming they want to “re-write the story” as it was theirs -- and using a fake name to do so. That weird nightmare in one’s mind about this era how one does something -- one thing; and in 1994 this is a nightmare scenario as it could be on your perminate record or that it claimed.
      When you end up going to a news stand in 2015 with something you know it’s yours from 1996 and the person’s name who is on the byline wasn’t you who wrote when you wrote it. They’re calling you the liar as you are on video verifying this is something you wrote. Think about 2014 and 2015 in that sense -- it’s an era where the writers will see themselves getting fucked by a troll more often and claiming to be your “biographer.” This one made my last two years miserable as this one emerged after S.E. Cox thrown in the towel and became a phone whore. What’s a phone whore -- do I even need to ask what that is?
      Had our realizations with 2015 were the reality of our darkest horror?
      A knowing of the things we’re not even suppose to know?
      “Nick -- tell me, don’t you think you’re reading too much into this?”
      I am not reading enough into it to draw a conclusion -- but I am sure someone will throw Col 2:8 at me because I am doing intellectual double-talk in their eyes and mind; but the questions and realizations they ask. Do they even dare to begin to ask? The realizations that remain when it’s impossible to find a congregation that will take someone will genuine intelligence -- a realization that dawns upon them when one is a writer.
      “We want you to write for our bulletins -- no write for us...”
      “Wait I want to get published and been published, writing for a bulletin tends to be limiting in subject matter one can explore because I had got in the head of someone who had killed,” I can imagine some saying if they found my blog. The realization is there when something that fucked up is in your head as you avoided the steeplechase -- or a steeplecase while you’re in small town hell.
      “Doesn’t matter if you were in a magazine -- we don’t want the magazine style writers,” I can see someone saying to me becaue I can never imagine myself writing a tract because I am can do novella length works as a writer. I just hope to God I am not placed into a church where they are trapped by Kent Hovind’s twisted sense of logic as he would twist around -- that realization he is a ticking time bomb is when they slapped another charge on him. Mail fraud as you wonder -- sincerely asking yourself how much torture Eric puts up with when everyone is putting him through the ringer.
      Paranoia in 2015 -- when you were born in the 1970s as these who are of a younger generation, they’re prepared to hate you because someone else says about you. Fucking whisper campaign that spreads a poison known as gossip -- from gossip blogs to flat out copyright infringment how many could they really keep straight? Madness brings about gossip or vice versa as one can’t even go to get groceries without thinking about if some of the things said are whispered in the grocerie asiles thinking, “How can someone say something that monsterous?”
      The sin that comes to mind -- from them is it of the truth they often refuse to tell?
      The angel on my shoulder tells me to just, “Pretend you never heard what they said.”
      The demon on my other would want me to approach them to ask them why. The locals would see me as this snake with spider’s legs on it’s head -- oh fuck me; I am not a monster but in 2015 when I am nearing 39 and been seeing a shrink for 16 years in some way. When there are times when I thought the church saw me as a ghoul -- 2015 when seen from someone my in my era; from either 1986 or 1990 was the work of a sciecne fiction writer.
      Am I the one who is crawling on their belly -- that reptile who speaks in the garden. Where science and superstition never convergened in an Old Testament world. That the realization that someone who is going around spreading the rumors and gossip live in my state. Such cowards that claim my old stomping grounds as their home; where my world was never their litter box but theirs is my shit filled toilet as they’re drinking from it with a straw.
      It’s not like we have an 85 year old woman who is making a fur coat from the neighbor’s cat!
      I was reading this and thinking, “what the hell is wrong with people? In a city the same size as Joliet, give or take -- damn lady why can’t you go to Burlington Coat Factory instead of killing your neighbor’s cat. I can see them screaming, ‘Fluffy! Fluffy -- what the fuck did this sick woman do to my cat?’ I need a damned cigarette.”
      The kind of thing that would keep many up for weeks knowing that. Looking on, in realization that what horror they read about wasn’t imagined but was written on World News Daily as a classmate from a small town gets her news from this place -- but it’s a question when I lived in Iowa where could I find newspaper that chronicled a sick sad world.
      2010s -- the doors opened wider to capture the news of the shocking. The question where the King James Only types asking where is God in a world where he doesn’t seem to care. A realization where one tries to ignore the ideas of the unpleasant -- as madness in Illinois seen crime against churches. The weirdness within those who’d gone mad because of their deranged zeal -- where they had came to town just to listen to the lead clown. 2015 seen from the perspective of someone born in the 1970s --bortn as a kid in the 1980s. In form of a science fiction film -- and how it is just unfolding before us; in our present when we go fetch our gallon of milk can we imagine those pointing the finger at us when someone overseas had collected up a malicious lie and create a nightmare from it.
      That it would just be in 2011 alone I had seen fliers had popped up with a lie that I was a sex offender -- but who would even do such a damaging lie as this. Or go around passing the destroying deal of a would be magazine would see an accusation of plagiarism. When I plagarized no one -- how can I plagiarize real life? When 2014 into the new period -- as one would see madness, our world collected in the minds of many as that was valley of shadows.
      What we’ve seen becoming a realization what we knew of were we standing in between tomorrow and the decades of our youth now gone -- those years gone having to bury our elders before 2015. Has technology made a generation so hateful of the last one one witout even speaking to them personally. Clearly I ask --- how does someone justify theft one’s ideas or thoughts in 2014 or 2015 when someone has so many can freely give oft heir own? The whole thing about when one gazes into the abyss -- what follows that, it does also gazes up into you.
      “Those questions you ask -- when you asked them what do you want of us?”
      I can see you asking that because when you are gone -- will the world stop spinning as there is something I will not have the reasons. The technology one shuns in realization they were not of 2015 -- when machines they do not comply but realizations born within a small town and a single flier can invoke someone to look over their shoulder. It’s not like I am that monster that is a rattlesnake with a spider with a head. What can a lie create -- what paranoia stems from this; realizations when one sees that as the alleged “biographers” are too blind to realize it. The thing with 2015 -- those who claim to be one’s biographer or saying “too long and didn’t read” really can’t read at all.
      That would come to mind -- the realization haunting them; when they wake up in the morning or evening what do they see when they look in the mirror -- is it themselves or a beast known as guilt? When someone was born in 1975 they are waiting for their fourties as some of them started that damned campaign themselves -- while looking in the mirror they damn know well they had.
      The realization they had been born condemned by the court of public opinion and in 2015; one is tried this quite often in an era of the Social Media. Plagiarism becoming a very real nightmare standing before us -- some had done this from the dead. Our generation as we’re reaching the twilight of our thirties -- as a few in my generation seen the rest within a box as we’re not the ones who’d make the return. 2015 from a 1976 -- it’s a question of perspectives when you’re a horror author you either write about other people’s fears or one’s own. As we seen the failure of D.A.R.E. in Blake Judd as the Trainspotting like madness that unfolded to having to realize one of my author’s had passed away -- barely 47 years old like H. P. Lovecraft when he died. When you’re older -- the bullying doesn’t mae sense from a generation who could been your own kids when you’re an underage parent. Especially when they attack one’s disability and circle of beliefs -- going for the two things that really are sore spots.
      What is that world will be like when they are the ones who are to stand before God -- the judgment seat as they claim because they drove someone not of my will to die. Without their technology or their toys -- the realizations they were as naked as they came into the world. It would be the gossip they left behind for the living to be haunted with -- as haunted as me; the lies they tell in 2015 or the 2010s they can’t take away because it is like when they put their photo out there. As such a young age -- what if someone they had pissed off got their hands on that photograph?
      “Could you tell me -- what have you done to help your fellow man?” I could see one asking a gossiper -- nothing in response as this is 2015 as mankind was my business. The whole thing why I published writers was being selfless as sometimes they asked for nothing in return. Fuck-- even I’ve seen the masses take advantage of this calling me a scam publisher. I never gave up as a publisher in 2014 just that who I worked with gave into the faceless straw men with the gossip they spread. It seems that gossip has a supernatural ability to destroy like the 1888 magazine Puck, illustrated. A magazine from 127 years ago had almost was accurate at how supernatural that gossip can become -- what it destroys in one’s thoughtlessness.
      Within a small town gossip does the most damage -- long after the storm happened and taken place, one can ask what can gossip even begin to do? 2015 seen from those born in 1976 as we had seen history -- both domestic and global history unfold before us; as we seen three wars with our lifetime. Some had seen friends had served in one of them -- one known as Kosov; as this one is hardly spoken about but my friend I was in touch with spoke of the darker things that unfold during the era. The ideas within the 1980s -- Conservatism resurrected in the 2000s were persona non grata in our modern era. But within the era of 2015 a reality that we know in the here and now -- the present as crimes we’re all of guilty within the court of public opinion.
      The realization of what we live in -- a decade where the global community and globalist shills had made this place much smaller in a realization what we became, the leaders of the world in our fields. The future world leaders that Hugo Gersback had written about -- is that our reality in 2015 or in 1996 as these decades and years were not quite real to him. When you see the dawn of 2015 what exactly does it have in store for us? Seen from a perspective of a 1976 as we seen a movie about this year a kids in 1988-1989; but the question will be where is the reality in it?

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